2024 Air, Space & Cyber: United Forces and Families: Senior Leadership Perspective

The “United Forces and Families: Senior Leadership Perspective” session at AFA’s 2024 Air, Space & Cyber Conference featured Gen. B. Chance Saltzman, Chief of Space Operations, and Jennifer Saltzman; CMSSF John Bentivegna and Cathy Bentivegna; Gen. David W. Allvin, Chief of Staff of the Air Force, and Gina Allvin; and CMSAF David Flosi and Katy Flosi. The session, held on September 18, was moderated by Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.), President & CEO of AFA. Watch the video below:

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.), AFA’s President & CEO:

Well, thanks everybody for joining us, and thanks for the panel for being here. We really appreciate it. We’ve heard a lot about the evolving threat environment over the last three days, and the innovative ways that the Department of the Air Force is looking to reshape and refocus the force to outpace China and prepare for great power competition. I can’t think of a better way to close out this conference than with this panel, because we need strong, resilient, and supported families to enable us to build strong, resilient Guardians and Airmen, who will need to succeed in the tough environment of the future. If our families are supported at home, we can focus on that mission at hand without unnecessary worry for our loved ones that we have left behind.

Our panelists today have experienced many of the same challenges that our Airmen and our Guardians face today. These challenges help shape them into the leaders that they have become. Please welcome Chief of Space Operations, general Chance Saltzman, and his wife, Jennifer Saltzman. Chief Master Sergeant of the Space Force, John Bentivegna, and his wife, Cathy Bentivegna. Chief of Staff of the Air Force, General David Allvin, and his wife, Gina Allvin. Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force, David Flosi, and his wife Katie Flosi.

So we’re going to start out today with a question to the spouses. So here’s the question: based upon your experiences as a new spouse in the military and then the experiences you have had since then, can you in one or two sentences share your best advice to spouses who have newly joined the military? Jennifer, let’s start with you.

Jennifer Saltzman:

It’s a lot of pressure, first out of the gate. Hey, everybody. Thanks for hanging out. I mean, we’re the only thing between you and getting out of here, so thank you so much for joining us. I would say people, find your people. They’re out there, connect. There’s no greater people than you’re going to find in guardian families and Airmen families. You’re just not going to. So, get out there and connect with people.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Thank you. Cathy?

Cathy Bentivegna:

Good afternoon, everybody. Thanks for being here, and I’m glad to be here as well. Anyway. So for me, my advice is to embrace the experience. You’re going to be moving, PCSing from place to place. Just take advantage, as Jennifer said, meet as much people as you can. There’s going to be a lot of interesting places that you will be going to, so just embrace the whole experience. There’s an end time to this, so it’s not going to be forever. So just take advantage of everything that you find.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Thank you. Gina, how about you?

Gina Allvin:

Okay, well, I knew they were going to take all the good answers, okay? So ditto to all of those things that they already said. Again, thank you for being here with us.

I’m going to go practical. I’m going to say when you are a new spouse, actually someone suggested this today, to get a joint email account. So when you need to communicate stuff together, it goes to both of you. Also, go ahead and have your personal email, but then make your spouse military email that you can have things separated. You won’t lose things as often and you won’t get as much spam. And you can concentrate on what you’re looking at, either with friends and family, even though you will have friends and family, but they will be your military friends and family. And after many, many years, it actually is quite useful. So that’s my practical advice.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Thank you. Katy, how about you?

Katy Flosi:

Sure. Well, Gina, I’m last, so you definitely all took the good answers. But kind of the same thing. Definitely join into something, something that’s your passion. Wherever you are, it has something to offer. Volunteer in the community, or on the base, meet a neighbor. It can be anything, but something to get you involved. You meet one person, and you’ll have so many open doors and opportunities.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Great. Hey, thanks very much. Okay, let me ask general Saltzman a question here. Sir, so Guardians face some unique challenges being employed in place. That can directly impact their families. So what kind of readiness problems does that reveal and how do the Space Force’s quality of life services need to adapt, change, or move into the future?

Chief of Space Operations, Gen. B. Chance Saltzman:

First, how great are the spouses? So the spouses and I are really nervous. You can’t tell from their answers, but the five of us are really nervous. We spent a lot of time on our hair. So we’re looking great. We look awesome.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

So not much of a team player, or are you CSO?

Gen. B. Chance Saltzman:

This goes to the heart of readiness. If you can make sure the spouses are happy and laughing, readiness takes care of itself in the home station. There’s no doubt about that.

I just want to say, listen, the Department of the Air Force by its nature and by its size and capacity is an expeditionary force. We support that expeditionary concept wholly. The capabilities that Guardians deliver enable that expeditionary force. So when we talk about what the Department of Air Force brings, whether it’s employed in place or expeditionary, we’re all teammates in that. And so don’t think about this as you have an expeditionary service and an employed in place service, because we’re in this together. No doubt about it. The Air Force has a tremendous amount of employed in place capabilities as well. So this is kind of a joint fight, if you will, when we talk about readiness from our various locations that we have to create combat effects from.

Employed in place does create different challenges. And I had an opportunity when the Ukrainian war kicked off to go out to Buckley and watch the Guardians there that were providing the missile warning of some of the largest barrages of missiles that we’ve seen ever. And I mean that. In the first year of the Ukrainian conflict, we saw more missiles than we had seen in the entire DSP and SIPRS program in all of the years before that. It was an incredible amount of work to provide that level of continuity, that level of combat support. And what I saw were Guardians that were really struggling with, they knew they were in the fight, they knew that the accuracy of their reports was going to matter. It was going to matter to people in the theater. And then they had to go home and pull it all together, and help their kids with homework. And they had to figure out what the problems were in the house that afternoon. And then they had to turn around and go back to their shift and do combat operations again 12 hours later, in some cases.

These are just different. I’m not saying one’s harder than expeditionary or the other way. It’s just different. And we have to understand that not everybody can compartmentalize and say, “I’m done with work, now I’m at home, and everything’s great.” It takes resiliency, it takes a network of people. Like Jennifer mentioned, you got to know where your people are, you got to be able to talk to them, you got to talk through these issues. The family’s at home, the friends that are around you, that all creates resiliency. And as leaders of employed and placed forces, we just have to make sure we understand that, and then we have to account for it. My shift ended at 3:00, I think I can make the kids’ soccer game at 4:00 and then something goes wrong and shift change goes late, and now I’m an hour late, and I didn’t make it.

We think about that as like work-life balance, but work and life are integrated directly together every single day. And as leadership teams, if we’re not accounting for that, and we’re not seeing that these difficulties play out in terms of readiness, then we’re missing a big part of the equation. And so I think first and foremost is just an acknowledgement that employed in place operations are different, they create stressors, and we have to account for them or our readiness will decline. And it’s family, it’s friends. That’s what really creates that resiliency that allows the Airmen and the Guardians to perform at their best when we need them to. And we need them to a lot these days.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Jennifer, coming to you again. So fostering connection and community in the Space Force is something that’s very important to you. Can you explain why to the audience, and maybe give some advice to fellow Guardians who are looking to build a stronger community for themselves and their families?

Jennifer Saltzman:

Awesome. Connection, absolutely it’s my favorite C of the four Cs. I think when people sign up Guardians and or their families decide, “Yep, we’re going to serve,” the character part, the commitment part, and the courage part, are kind of taken care of. It’s the connection piece that I think makes you feel a part of this wonderful big family, and that you’re not going to leave it. And you want more of that, being connected to the mission, being connected to each other, and that we’re all in this big great family. And there’s nothing, again, I’ll say it again, there’s nothing like Guardians and Airmen and their families. So connection’s my favorite C.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Thank you. Chief Bentivegna, although the need for available and affordable child care is not exclusive to the US military, the military service does pose certain challenges for families. Can you explain how the issue of child care is unique to the Space Force, or Space Force, Air Force and other military services, and what are some of the ways that you all are addressing those challenges?

Chief Master Sergeant of the Space Force John Bentivegna:

Yeah, thanks for the question. Child care specifically is a really important topic. We talk about quality of life and quality of service. And as General Saltzman talked about, these are not just isolated to Guardians. Specifically if you go to a Space Force space where Guardians execute the mission, they’re employed in place. There are hundreds if not thousands of Airmen that are operating those power projection platforms that also are worried about, “How do I get access to child care?”

And I would say that, as I get an opportunity, and sometimes with Cathy when we travel around, we try to visit, there are certain stops we try to make: dormitories, housing, the medical clinics, and the child development centers. That kind of get actually what is actually happening on the ground. And I would say over the past year since we’ve had the opportunity to be in this position, it’s amazing the dedicated professionals at the CDCs that we have, and how thankful they are, and all the initiatives the DAF has rolled out. Increasing pay, having a hundred percent free reimbursement for the first child of a full care provider, making child care providers in the CDCs, not just a job but a profession. We’ve met several individuals who have gone to schools, worked under education, and continued on progressing within the DAF civilian network, because we’ve provided them that path.

And our staffing has increased. Honorable Wagner talked about that. Because of this initiative, increased capacity at the CDCs, because we know it’s vital. But the CDCs alone are not going to provide all the child care that service members need, not only from a capacity, but also the variety of hours. We talked about employed in place. That’s 24 hours a day, seven days a week for employed in place Guardians. And almost every single defender, no matter what base you go to, work at 24 hours a day, seven days a week. So, what are the other options? And we worked really hard with fee assistance to try and open up community homes who want to have a home care business, and want to help out, and maybe take care of children. God love you if you can do it. I don’t know if I could have a house full of children. I don’t have the patience for that. I’ll lose my hair, if that happened.

But there were families who want to do that. And working to encourage them to make that process easier, they understand how to get certified, and then fee assistance allows families to do that. Partnering with downtown child development centers as well. There’s an OSD pilot, I think that was at Peterson Space Force Base in Colorado Springs, where we look to increase capacity on the market, leveraging OSD dollars and then the fees that the families pay. So, it’s not a one-stop solution to get after it, but it’s a variety of ways, because all of us work have a variety of lifestyles as we serve our nation. Some are Monday through Friday, some are 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

So, how we’re getting after it is trying to have variety and diversity to match the lifestyles that we live, but also working really hard to make sure that we are able to educate, so that families understand what their options are. Within the Space Force specifically, I hope I think on October, when I got updated today, we’re supposed hoping to unveil I think on DAF Learning online services. I think there’s like 30, 10 videos, and other documents to help guide family members through, what are my options when I’m searching for child care beyond the child care coordinators that most FSSs or CDCs have. So it’s a matter of making sure that families understand the variety of options that are there, but also the options that we’re talking about are funded and resourced, and we’re working really hard to get after that. But we know this is a problem, not only within the Department of Defense, but it’s a nationwide issue.

And let’s be honest, Cathy and I, we are parents. We take very seriously when you drop a child off, that they’re safe, secure, and they’re well taken care of. So this is hard business, but it’s serious business, and it’s mission-related business. This is not an MWR discussion, this is not a nice-to-have discussion. Childcare is directly related to the mission readiness we need all our Airmen and Guardians to be focused on to get out the great power competition. And we’re taking very seriously in getting after it and looking for direct feedback. Especially as I said, Cathy and I, we want to know what’s happening on the ground to take best practices back to the Pentagon and share it across installations, and where there’s challenges or issues, bring it back to the Pentagon as well.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Thanks, Chief. Cathy, I’d like to come back to connection a little bit. And can you talk to how you’ve balanced your work and family obligations with being a connected member of the Space Force and the military community?

Cathy Bentivegna:

Thank you for that question. So I mean, I’m a people person. I love connecting every single day. The bad part is I do have a full-time job. So I work as a sales operations manager for a wholesale company based in Atlanta. I work remote, work from home. My co-workers are my two dogs, Twinky and Saki. So when I get invites for different events, I do have to balance it out. I have to see if I’m going to be out of town. But the problem that I’m having is I have this bad case of FOMO. I want to try to attend as much as I can, but I can’t. But it’s okay. It’s okay to say no to some events. I don’t have to attend everything, although I do, especially if the events are for lunch, brunch, dinner… Anything to do with food, I’ll try to make it there. Anyway. Yeah, I mean, that’s how I balance my work and attending and supporting military events. Thank you.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Hey, no, you’re on a roll. Don’t stop. Don’t stop, you’re on a roll. I think that was great. Chief, I know that you have some special thoughts on the next question that we’re going to talk about, and that’s the need for family readiness initiatives that need to be worked in parallel with the Air forces re-optimizing for great power competition efforts. Can you share what you feel like those efforts are, how those efforts are interrelated, and what success looks like when it comes to Air Force Family Readiness?

Chief of Staff of the Air Force Gen. David W. Allvin:

Well, thanks. And it’s great to be here. I don’t know why suddenly I’m a little hungry, but thanks. I appreciate the question. This re-optimization that we’re doing, I would say we’re focused, I would say borderline obsessed about the need to get after it. But it can’t just be with the military members. This is family business. And so the idea that the member can just be ready and change the way that we do things, change the way that we’re going to have units of action moving forward, change the way we’re going to train. And that isn’t going to affect family readiness, I think is a fraught with peril.

So, when we think about family readiness, the communities within which we live are going to undergo a different experience as we change the way that we present forces. As we move to units of action that are going to train together, there’s no longer going to be the situation in as many cases where we have sort individual deployments, where the base remains all the same, but there were a few people maybe as much as a flying squadron at the most, but a lot of the support folks are coming onesie-twosie, and the base stays the same. And then when they come back it’s like, “Well, what’d you do on your summer vacation? Great, welcome back to the Wing.” And therefore you think about individual readiness. Are my shots up to date? Do I have all of my personal affairs in order?

But when we change, and we are being ready for this pure threat that we want to deter, and if necessary defeat, it’s going to change the way that our military is going to get ready. We’re going to be deploying to training environments in units, in large numbers. And so the community left behind, and the families that are going to be there need to understand that. And I think family readiness takes on a different meaning in the era of great power competition. And what I mean by that is, we have a tremendous amount of helping agencies that contribute to, not only the quality of life, but also the individual readiness and being able to be there when the member is gone.

Those are very top-down capabilities that we have in our air force. And we do those very well. But they’re only as good as they are communicated to the people that need them. So when we have all these top-down, institutionally driven capabilities, we need to ensure that we communicate them across the force. So when I talk about responsibilities for Wing command teams, and spouses, and at the squadron level to communicate, so everyone in the squadron knows what those capabilities are, what those helping agencies can do.

And the other thing is to educate your family on the mission. The other byproduct this last 20 years is when we’ve been going and coming back in bits and pieces, it’s allowed the military to be a little bit more separate from the civilian society, and even our family members. And a lot of our family members don’t often really know as much what we do. And I think that also creates a separation that when we’re gone, or when we’re out training, if you don’t have that idea and understanding of what your spouse is doing, it gives you less of that connected feeling that is so important for the family readiness. Understanding that not only when you communicate, you need to understand what is in your external community, not only your military community. What are the helping agencies outside the fence? Being able to get connected with the rest of the community is so important.

And I think that is part and parcel to our ability to be able to understand and move forward in our new readiness paradigm for great power competition, because we will see large chunks of our bases going away. Not necessarily over to deploy to fight, but to deploy to prepare to fight, and that’s going to provide a different environment within our communities, within our bases. And if we don’t start having that dialogue, there’s no way our Air Force is going to be able to re-optimize if our Air Force family doesn’t understand and can re-optimize right along with this.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

So, let me ask a follow-on question real quick. So when you, in the Air Force, or the Space Force, when you have commander’s training, or commander conferences, do you talk about this and talk about these ways that the Air Force and the Space Force are changing based on the demographics and the way we think about things in the US and those issues you just talked about?

Gen. David W. Allvin:

I have a fantastic wingman right here who has been, she has been amazing in helping me to keep that at the front of mind. And so in the spouses conferences, these are now being better integrated, because the things that we start moving out on, well, you have a spouses conference, then you have the primary members conference, but those are being integrated more into the spouses conferences and the spouses agendas, because if we don’t take the opportunity to inform the leadership, then there’s no way that the leadership can inform their forces. And the leadership spouses are our conscience. And sometimes it’s too easy for us to just run off and do our own thing. But Gina has been just a fantastic partner in that. And I know the same thing for Salty and Jennifer.

Gen. B. Chance Saltzman:

Yeah, I was going to say, I did two tours in the NRO, and the intelligence gathering and sensing capabilities of the NRO are nothing compared to what Jennifer can do on a base at a luncheon talking to Airmen, Guardians and their families. I come back, she’s got a list. She’s a great sensor, because they’ll talk, and they’ll tell her things that maybe they’re not going to talk to the four-star about, at least right out of the gate. And that’s valuable feedback.

As I was listening to Dave talk, I was thinking we had a great session, secretary Kendall and the two chiefs with our civic leaders. And it occurred to me because the way they were asking their questions, that we’ve got to remember to include them in all of our changes, make sure they understand the transformation that’s going on in the Air and Space Force, because as the character of the base changes, whether it’s because people are departing, or coming, or there’s employed in place operations, the community wants to understand that so that they can provide better support, they can fill in, they understand where the stresses are, because we’re in their school systems, we’re at their hospitals sometimes. And I think we need to make sure that they understand all of the same transformation that’s going on. And that session that we had proves that they’re eager to learn about it, and they want to contribute and help.

So to the leaders out there, I know you have the connections from base installations back to the civic leaders, make sure you’re including them in some of the transformations that are occurring.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Okay. Gina, back to you real quick. So, I think you have a couple stories to share about when you all were based out of Grand Forks Air Force base in 2001. And then 9/11 happens, and the chief and his unit hit the road. And there you were left behind. Do you have some stories you can share with us and how that shaped your views on Family Readiness and the team that you need around you?

Gina Allvin:

Yeah, so absolutely. Unfortunately, I feel like I’m going to repeat a lot of the things that he said, because some of these are lessons learned that we did, unfortunately, 9/11, everyone had to learn a lot of lessons very quickly in a very tumultuous environment. And we went for our toolbox, and our toolbox had a lot of gaps. And that’s our personal one, our family. But then we know that the services as well. The deployment list has a lot more checkboxes now than they did before 9/11. Most people here don’t even know how short it used to be, but some do.

So, every person in this room can add about 10 things to this toolbox. I’m just going to say three because I think they’re a little all encompassing, but these are things that we were not good at, or were missing in add gaps in our toolbox. So, our consolidated information, you have your accounts, your passwords, your emergency contacts in one place at a fingertip reach. You can get it anytime you need it. The second one would be you have your contingency plan. The active duty members have contingency plans for things, family members need it too. How do you run your life? We’re going to having to run our lives with less or different types of support. So, taking care of your family, kids, siblings, parents, friends, your friends, you’re going to need to take care of your dogs, or your pets, I should say pets. All pets. Just because we have dogs. But take care of your pets. Take care of your belongings, your property, your home, your car, all these things that you need to take care of in a regular running of your life.

And I’m going to turn it into jobs. If you have a job, if you are going to school your education, how is that going to continue, with different types of support, when if something happens or whether it’s a crisis, an emergency or a conflict, or they’re exercising.

The third thing would be, we did okay at Grand Forks, I’ll say. We were not that big of a squadron, so we could track everyone down and get communication with every single person. But there are squadrons out there, units out there that are huge. It’s hard to get everyone’s information. This is something that everyone has been talking about for, I believe since the first flag was flown to communicate.

And you need to be, we all, as family members, need to have a responsibility in making sure we’re part of that communication. It’s not just, “Hey, here’s the phone number. You stick it on the fridge and it’s there hopefully when you need it.” Because it’s not exercised. They exercise to search. We need to exercise to search. We need to exercise and make sure those lines of communication are open, and flexible. And it’s community, it’s all those things. It’s the connection. But we need those to be used and utilized all the time, so you know that they’re there when you need them, because we’re talking about child care, or whatever. If you don’t get to go to your regular child care facility for whatever reason, you still might have a class, and who do you reach out to? Your community, who are around you. There are the people, and that’s who I reach out to. And people have reached out to me as well. And I think following up with that is just perfect.

So, as he was doing the family readiness, following up on that, these are all the things that went into that. But third is the emotional readiness. We’re never going to be ready for that, right? But what can we do to prepare? Again, it’s the knowing the mission, understanding the mission, and having that all together so you understand where you are in the big picture of the Air Force. I think it’s really important. And it settles you down to know what’s at play.

I go back to the communication part, but active duty members, it is part of your job, if you wouldn’t mind me asking, I’m sorry. I didn’t clear this with him. So I’m just going to ask, would you please, whoever is your family, your loved ones, they love you. They want to know what’s going on with you. And when they want answers, they don’t know who to call, they don’t know to contact. Please share their contact. Maybe your mom, or dad, or your uncle, or grandma, whatever, share that information with your key support liaison. They will get the information to them when they need it. They don’t have to overly abuse it or send out a ton of stuff, but when they need to contact them about information that’s important, they have it.

I think there was more, but I’ve already forgotten what it is. So we’re good. So those were the things we were missing. I mean, missing a lot. And we had a really young squadron, and it was a lot of panic. And they were only going to deploy for 45 days at a time at the beginning, because there was no maintenance down range yet. So it was difficult. The other thing is I think we’re pretty good about it now, but please remember spouses and families, OPSEC. That was a big lesson learned after 9/11, to understand what OPSEC actually stood for. It’s important. Thank you.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Thank you, Gina. That tool box concept is perfect. I hadn’t thought of that, and I could have used that many, many times in my career, let me tell you. And I’m going to start it when I get home later today. Or tomorrow, or whenever I’m going home.

Chief Flosi, shortly after you became the Chief Master Sergeant in the Air Force you were called to testify before Congress on the quality of life of Airmen and their families. Can you elaborate on that experience and share some of those key issues that you testified about and why you felt they were so important?

Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force David Flosi:

Well, thanks for the question. I’d like to first, anybody that’s got a bet, take the under on me on length of answer, between me and B9, he covered all that already. So I appreciate the question. And I’ll tell you, I was terrified. I was preparing to take, to do the change of responsibility with number 19, and it was about five days before that event happened. We got an email in the afternoon that said, “You’re going to go testify before Congress 10 days after you take the seat.” And I thought, “Well, that’s a horrible idea.” It was kind of a big Air Force. And I would like to learn a little bit more about that before I go. But we worked really hard to get ready. And I definitely entered that room terrified, but I left pretty hopeful. That’s a wonderful opportunity to engage with some very influential people that write our nation’s laws. And they were interested in hearing about issues impacting our ability to execute the mission of the United States Air Force, all services. B9 was there with me along with the other service SEAs.

And so we spent some time speaking about barriers that existed, whether it’s legislative barriers, budget constraints, policy, you name it, that impacted all the things that we’ve already been talking about: child care, health care, spousal education, license reciprocity, employment opportunities that we thought we could explore and make easier on our families, which all then, like B9 mentioned, all impacts our readiness, our ability to do what our nation acts of us. So, we talked a lot about it.

So I’m going to share a couple of things just based off of the other comments to kind of transition a little bit. And one of them is, CSO mentioned employed in place, and some people can’t compartmentalize real well. Obviously, both of our services share employed in place missions. And I would argue that is true, also, some of us are a little too good at compartmentalizing. So we leave work and it all stays at the door. So we talked a lot about connections, and I use this analogy. Many of us have raised kids, I think all of us have. And if you got an eight-year-old that comes home with a little backpack, especially if it’s a boy, you probably dig through that backpack at night. And that’s because we learned at some point that the teacher was sending something home, or communicating with us. And no way was Jack going to do anything with his backpack other than chuck it and he walked in the door, right? Go play games.

We’re doing the same thing, active duty Airmen. So please check their backpacks when they get home from work. And I would put that on us as Airmen and Guardians service members to ensure you carry the communication back to your families. So a lot of these resources… Thank you. I continue to screw it up to this day, so at least I’m trying to learn the lesson.

So, a lot of these resources that we’ve talked about are available, and there’s something that we can all take advantage of, or be part of. And if you don’t get the message all the way to the intended recipient, it’s all for naught. You mentioned civic leaders. Our civic leaders are eager to be a value-added part of our community, and to help us through large-scale deployments. But again, they are unable to fill a demand if we don’t send this signal. So engage with our civic leaders. We have a great and reinvigorated key support program. The word spouse is out of it, so strike that from the record. And what a former commander of mine articulated as the best return on investment that the Air Force has ever had is a spouse. So thank you to all the spouses for being part of this journey that we’re on together. The government’s not, you are under no obligation to be sitting here right now. And so feel free to go. I don’t want to get in trouble.

Katy Flosi:

I can leave.

CMSAF David Flosi:

You absolutely can leave. You’re under zero… Now.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Katy, you can’t leave yet. I’m sorry.

CMSAF David Flosi:

It’s costing you money in some cases as full-time career professionals. So really appreciate the sacrifice that our spouses make, and they really give us an advantage that doesn’t exist in other places. We talked a lot about what the spouses should do, a little bit about what we should do to help with that. But it’s true, when we go to generate, when we go to deploy, when we get out the door, it’s amazing what a resilient and robust spouse network can do to make sure we can execute when our nation needs us to.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Okay, I totally agree with you, chief.

CMSAF David Flosi:

Well, thanks.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Katy, can you share some advice that you found helpful in coping with those kinds of challenges that military families face? Those moves, those deployments, those separations, any lessons learned that you can share with everybody about how you overcame some of those challenges and what you use to work them in the future?

Katy Flosi:

Sure. Thank you. I think I’m echoing a lot of the same things. We’ve all been through the same experiences and use the same resources. I’ll share a little bit of a personal journey, a lot of you have heard it. David and I have been married for 27 years. He proposed to me the night before he went into basic training, and said, “Just please don’t send me a dear John letter until I’ve graduated.” He’s like, “Just wait till I finish.” So we’ve been in this together forever, and that’s when I became a military spouse. And learned that military spouses are really our best resource. We depend on each other a hundred percent. I’m there for people, people are there for me. So about two years into his assignments service, we got moved to Germany. We had a one-year-old baby and no family. And so of course, you just reach for something.

And that’s when I got involved in a play group in the basement of our TLF. And those people have been just lifelong friends. It’s so strange how you just stumble into something. There was a flyer in the hallway, and I went to that group. And then, two kids now later, one more kid, we have two kids now… Well, we have three, but hang on, I’m on the second kid. Okay. So we were living in a little village in Germany, and I got meningitis. So I had to go immediately to the ER. And those friends that I met in that play group took our kids, cared for them, never asked when they were going to be returned. They just took them. They’re like, “We got you.”

And so now, we’re on number three kid, we’re in Italy. And again, I managed… Let me back up just a little bit. We managed German schools. We sent all of our kids to German kindergartens. And so we managed that. Navigation through spouses, “What do we do? This is totally new, new language, new experience, culture, everything.” And then we moved to Italy. And again, we put our kids in Italian schools. And I leaned on spouses, “What do we do? I have no idea how to navigate an Italian school. Where do you get their books?” Well, it’s in the middle of a town on a certain day, and you go and you pick up their books, and then you have to buy robes, they wear robes to school. I’m like, “What is happening?”

But those military spouses, it was like Hogwarts, those military spouses helped me through. And I hope to give that back to other military spouses. Again, we’ve navigated this whole thing, messed up, done some things right. And that’s where we can get that information is from other spouses of our experiences. We’re going to go through the same thing. And to not have to relearn it again and again and again, that’s where I get my support, that’s where I ask, that’s where I find out that information.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Thank you. So those are great things. So let me just delve a little deeper into connection. So, when you get the new Airmen come in, or the new Guardians, and they’re on their first assignment, and maybe they’re married or maybe they’re not, but they’re introverted, and they’re the ones that go off into the corner. How do you kind of get the rest of the group to make sure that they’re enveloped in this spirit of connection that is so important in which you all talk about, as being and making a difference in both the efficacy of the units, and their family units that make that up? Can you talk about any experiences you’ve had with trying to bring people into the fold when they’re kind of off in a corner type of thing?

CMSSF John Bentivegna:

I maybe have a story I can start off and share with. So I’m going to talk about Cathy. So what I’ve learned about Cathy-

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

A known introvert, Cathy.

CMSSF John Bentivegna:

I married up, very high. But Cathy taught me that connection has no rank. Connection has no uniform. Connection’s connection. So, we were at Vandenberg, was Air Force Base at the time. I think I was the command chief for 14th Air Force. I was still an Airman. And Cathy comes home. She says, “Hey, on Friday night, I met a young mom at the commissary and she looked like she was a little out of her realm. So I invited her over for dinner on Friday.” So I’m like, “Okay, Cathy, whatever it is. I’m good, you’re the boss.”

So come home Friday, and I’m getting ready and I hear the doorbell rings. And I go to the door, I open it up, and there’s this young woman holding a little baby, and her senior Airman husband is looking at her, “What are you doing? This is the command chief’s house. Why would you bring me here?” And I opened the door and I look at him and he is like, “Chief, I am so sorry. My wife met your wife.” And I looked at him and I said, “Hey, man, this is not about us. This is about two spouses connecting. Come on in.” Remember that? Then the family came in. And Cathy tried to get her into not understanding military life. I think she was from the Philippines. Everything was new to her: new mom, new military spouse.

But taking the effort to go out and make the connection with somebody is what I learned from Cathy in that experience. That it doesn’t know a rank, it doesn’t know a uniform. She identified someone who maybe looked like needed a hand, someone to talk to. And you set her on a path. You connected her with the spouses that were on Vandenberg. And every time I saw that young senior in uniform, you’d say, “Chief, how you doing? Everything all right?” I think one of the things that we benefit from, I think we’ve all married up, gentlemen, is get a chance to see our spouses from afar, and get to see the magic and just the amazingness that they have.

So Cathy and I last night we were talking about the panel, and we’re talking about, hey, talking about connection and military, the things we’ve done through the life that we do, you don’t take credit for a lot of stuff. Spouses don’t take a lot of credit for the things that they do and how important they are. But they kind of say, spouses are amazing, like Cathy said, they really are. Because we all know, we’ve chosen this life, and it’s not easy. It’s not without its challenges and its sacrifices, but man, the rewarding connections and opportunities that we get to meet one another and be here together, and the lifelong friends you make, is amazing.

But on the connection piece, Cathy taught me connection does not have a rank, does not have a uniform. It’s just you got to be out there, be active, and be willing to open up and reach out your hand and help somebody out.

Gen. B. Chance Saltzman:

If you think you can stand in Cathy Bentivegna’s doorway and not be invited in, good luck, it doesn’t happen.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

CSO, did you have something to share on that regard?

Gen. B. Chance Saltzman:

Well, I love these stories because we all share the same stories. They’re slightly different countries or locations, but it’s the same stories. And my guess is those stories are out there too at different levels. And I like something Jennifer says all the time when she gets asked these kinds of questions, she says, “Just take care of each other. Just take care of each other.” And I know the reason she says it that way, because she means it. We’re going to need help. Somebody’s going to have to take care of us on some aspects, some issue throughout the day, throughout the career. So therefore, we’re willing to help you. And if it’s your time to get helped, great, because soon it’s going to be our turn to need some help, and we’re going to need somebody to watch the kids, or we’re going to need somebody to get a kid to a soccer practice because we can’t be there. That’s just what happens in the military community.

But once we have that commitment, that connection that says, “We’re just going to take care of each other,” it just is a lot more resilient and it just plays out a lot better. So I always love when I hear that answer from her. Just take care of each other.

CMSAF David Flosi:

I’ll add just real briefly on introverts, and maybe some effort, as an introvert for real, some effort to get them included. And we don’t really joke about it, but there are these things in the military called mandatory fun, right? It’s a separate situation, again, with our spouses, who are under no obligation to do anything related to our service. So it’s all out of the goodness of their hearts. But what we’ve found is when we’ve been on station a little bit longer, when we understand the community and the local environment, is number one, being very welcoming. And to continue to ask an offer, even if you don’t initially get responses and you don’t initially get a yes, or maybe they don’t accept that first offer to come over, don’t stop. It’s often just because people, maybe they are uncomfortable with the break and rank between the person offering and their spouse, or maybe they don’t understand that you’re genuine and just, no, we just want you to be included part of our team and offer you the same kind of kindness that we were blessed to have when we arrived on station.

So I would say just be open, continue to offer, and continue to ask. And I think as an introvert, I may not have been the person to volunteer initially, but if you ask me, I’m like, “Oh, yeah, sure, that’s easy.” Especially if it’s the behind the scenes stuff. So there’s always an opportunity to contribute and to be a valuable part of the community.

CMSSF John Bentivegna:

Chief, do you not like being on stage?

CMSAF David Flosi:

Oh, I do not like being on stage. No.

Gen. David W. Allvin:

I just want to pick up real quick on, of course, I’m the introvert too. I know when I’m passionate about something, it looks like I’m an extrovert, but just know that every night of this particular conference, I go home, and I melt, and I just sit in a rock in the corner for a while, because some people gain energy, some people have to regain mind. But I will tell you that not all of us can be the ones that necessarily go and reach out. Because if you’re introverts yourself, if you’re lucky enough to find someone who is actually able to do that, and can spot those, Gina can do that. She can see if there’s someone who looks like maybe they’re not quite there, and she has this personality that attracts people and brings out the best in people. So if you’re lucky enough to have that, that’s a great tool to have. And I think that’s key. But we don’t all have that. But just if you’re in an organization, look for the people who do know how to do that and help them do that job.

I want to really quick talk about what Salty mentioned. And I’ll go off on a little bit of a tangent here, and I’m going to seem like I’m the very strict, rigid, it’s all about readiness, I don’t care about people. That’s not the case. However, when we talk about take care of each other, I do want to talk about something that happened around 9/11 that Gina and I both experienced. And it’s when you say take care of your Airmen, we need to understand that sometimes the best way you take care of your Airmen is to ensure that they’re comfortable and know how to take care of each other. The absence of that can developed a culture of dependency and a learned helplessness for which you will not be ready.

And I lived in an environment, and I’ll keep all the people nameless to protect their identity, but I lived in an environment where it was almost a competition to see which squadron commander could take better care of their Airmen. And in Grand Forks, North Dakota, one of the ways that this manifests is one of my fellow squadron commanders is good dude, but had his DO carry a snow shovel in the back of his car. And it didn’t matter who you were, wherever you were, if you called, he would go and shovel your walk. He would do. So you have the leadership of the organization doing everything for the people. And that’s what I mean. We have vertical top-down helping agencies, but you don’t build resilience that way if you rely solely on that.

Because the moment that’s not there, if you don’t have a backup plan, if you don’t take care of each other, if you don’t know how to look left and right and say, “Hey, I need something extra from the CDC and they don’t have the capacity, can you watch my kids?” I mean, the stories that have come here have been from people who take care of each other. And when we talk about that, that to me builds a resilience that we need. And if we rely solely on the helping agencies that are there to support us, but we don’t support each other, we will not have the resilience and the readiness that we need for our families if things go sideways. And that’s why I think this taking care of each other, it’s a simple concept. It’s a simple concept, but it needs tending. Like everything else that needs tending and it needs attention. And I think if we do that better, we’re going to be ready for any contingency going forward. I couldn’t be a bigger fan of that.

Gen. B. Chance Saltzman:

I do have a story. Once upon a time, I was in the Air Force, I witnessed this as a lieutenant, and I think about it all the time. It was one of those conversations that we’ve all seen in a hallway. It was a supervisor, so staff sergeant talking to, it’s probably like Airman first class. It was a young member of the unit. And it was one of those conversations that goes like this: “Hey, what are you doing this weekend?” “Nothing.” “Okay, great. I’ll see you on Monday.” And a senior master sergeant that I was great friends with, he saw it, and he let the Airman walk away and then he came up. And now I’m like, “Oh, I got to watch this. What’s going to happen here?” And he said, “Hey, what’s that Airman doing this weekend?” He goes, “Nothing.” He goes, “You really think that’s true?” And the staff sergeant realized he doesn’t have all the right answers.

And they called the Airman back over and the senior master sergeant says, “Are you going anywhere this weekend?” He goes, “Yeah, I think we’re driving over to Coeur d’Alene,” we were in Montana. “I think we’re driving over to Coeur d’Alene.” “Are you going by yourself?” “No, I got a buddy going with me.” “Are you taking your car or you’re taking his?” “No, we’re taking mine.” “When was the last time you got the tires checked? It’s November. It snows in Montana…” They went down this whole list. And then he walked away.

And what I remember is then the senior master sergeant turned to the staff sergeant and he said, “Sometimes leadership is a little intrusive. Sometimes it’s a little intrusive. You got to get in, you got to know the people, and you got to ask all the right questions or you can’t be the leader you need to be.” And I think it’s a commitment to taking care of people. Not just saying you’re going to take care of people, but getting involved, getting in their life. And it kind of feels a little intrusive sometimes, and if you’re an introvert, that may not be the most natural thing to do, but it’s what leaders have to do, is get involved and know your people and take it out. And I remember that lesson like it was yesterday watching it.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

She would love to say something.

Jennifer Saltzman:

No, I was. If it was going to be my turn…

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

It’s your turn.

Jennifer Saltzman:

Well, at a certain time, because there was a clock up here, which was very intimidating a little while ago. And now it’s really ticking down, and my favorite comedian…

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Jennifer, Jennifer. I ran out of questions about 10, 15 minutes ago.

Jennifer Saltzman:

Okay, good. So my favorite comedian said, I just want to let you know, because sometimes you don’t know. It’s almost over. It’s almost over, you’ve made it. So just hang in there for a few more minutes. And with another introvert, when I was super nervous, and I think I’ve had conversations already with, “Have you eaten anything today?” “No.” “Are you kidding?” “No.” My stomach hurts, I’m nervous. And he said, “Well, what are you nervous for? You can’t say anything wrong. What are they going to do? Fire you?” So I thought, “Okay.” And again, so appreciate you guys for not firing me yet.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Okay. One of the things that the CSO said early on was leadership teams. And I’ll take opportunity just to thank you all for being great leadership teams. The Air Force and the Space Force get a twofer. When they hire the CSO, they get Jennifer; when they hire the chief, they get Gina. When they hire Cathy, well, they get B9s.

CMSSF John Bentivegna:

That is the right answer.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

The Flosis are a team. Let’s just wrap up and I’ll go by leadership teams. Any last words you want to share with the Guardians and Airmen out here about this kind of stuff?

Gen. B. Chance Saltzman:

Yeah, I don’t take it for granted. If you start to take it for granted, you’re not going to get the kind of support you need, you’re not going to have the kind of sharing, so that you know what the bad day looks like, you can sense it when it happens. So, I just don’t take it for granted anymore. We do this thing called 20 seconds. And somebody told us sometimes that you can’t really have a human connection and a hug unless it lasts for at least 20 seconds. And so periodically I’ll go, “I need 20 seconds.” And we’ll stop what we’re doing, and I get 20 seconds. It’s also a sneak away to get a hug.

Jennifer Saltzman:

20 seconds is a long time.

Gen. B. Chance Saltzman:

20 seconds is a long time. That’s right.

Jennifer Saltzman:

It’s a long time. Yeah. Okay. Back to my favorite C, the connection piece, it’s very evident when you walk in the hallways, and you can’t walk three steps until you hear excitement and people’s eyes light up and they get reconnected with somebody that they worked with at their last assignment, and they can’t wait. So I know you guys have learned all kinds of great things from all these knowledgeable panels, maybe not this one. But all the panels that you see, but it’s the connection piece, because you get excited and you know that you’re a part of this big family, and the Space Force and the Air Force can’t work without everybody being connected. So it needs the whole everyone to be able to make it work. So thanks for being here.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Thank you.

CMSSF John Bentivegna:

I would say that Cathy and I have been doing this together for over 30 years. And I would say one of the things that we really valued and learned was this is a team sport, we do this together. And people talk about work-life balance sometimes, but Cathy and I write the phrase that work-life harmony. And we try to do things together. And there are things that Cathy dedicates time to serving for the assignments and the places I’ve been, but there’s also, how do I serve Cathy? And I really enjoy when I get a chance to go and I’m just arm candy for Cathy, because she’s the principal somewhere, with her friends, or her company, or her things, because we find harmony to get through it together. And that was, I think, part of some of the success for us doing this 30 years.

Cathy Bentivegna:

So for me, my advice to you was just take care of each other. I know this job is very hard, it’s very stressful. So when John is in town, I make sure that he’s home by his curfew time of 6:30, be home at 6:30. Anyway. So when he gets home at 6:30, me, Twinky and Saki are by the door with a bottle of beer… No, I don’t do that. Yeah, don’t do that. Anyway. Yeah, so he knows, “Go put your work out outfit,” and then we go for a walk. We go for a half-hour walk, so that I can talk to him about the drama with my job and everything, since he can’t really talk about his. And then we just go for a walk, talk, spend some quality time. So we try to do that every day. We also have date nights. John is a master pasta maker. He knows how to make homemade pasta. So we schedule date nights, and we just make sure we take care of each other, make sure that he’s happy. So yeah. Okay. Good answer. Good answer. Thank you.

Gina Allvin:

Okay, so I’m going to go back to something that B9 said about that they’re the ones who chose to serve. You know what I’m going to say? He already knows. But we chose them. So we choose every day to be here with you. And that’s all.

Gen. David W. Allvin:

Felt like I had to do that. Felt like I had to do that. That was a mic drop moment. Boy, what a team. So you can choose, it’s a choice. You can choose for however long you serve. You can choose to serve with your team at work, and have a separate life. You can choose to not have a teammate. But boy, when you choose to be a part of a team and be a part of the winning team, take the whole experience. And that’s what this is about. And when you find someone who you’re lucky enough to be able to enjoy being on a team, and it makes your life so much more valuable, then Yahtzee, man, you’ve won. But it’s a choice whether or not you want to go through your service by yourself, or be a part of the team. And we have the best winning team on the face of the planet. So, who wouldn’t want to be a part of this team?

CMSAF David Flosi:

I’m getting motivated to the point that I’m ready to go right now go build a new key spouse program. No, key support program. It’s also wrong, Katy said. I get that when I’m wrong. Thank you. So there’s a cool program there for supporting each other. Please go do it.

The cool stuff has been said. I like sitting over here and being the new guy. But the idea I wanted to leave you with is, hopefully you’re getting the sense that those of us in uniform up here are very thankful for our spouses. And so take that to work with you too. And don’t forget, all of these great ideas, and these great programs, and all the things that are available to you, and that spouses and loved ones can provide to the military community, that’s all gravy. So feel free to ask, never task. And be thankful for everything that our spouses provide. And that’s it. So thanks.

Katy Flosi:

Well, I only have nine seconds, so you don’t have to listen to me long, but…

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Hey, you guys are the head dude and do debts. You got all the time you need.

Katy Flosi:

We have tried to focus lately on being grateful. I think it’s really easy to complain, and it’s a little harder to focus on all the good things. We are grateful, the military has given us so much. Yes, it’s been painful at times, and it’s been hard on our children, it’s been hard on our marriage sometimes, but when you turn and look at what you are grateful for, there’s a lot. Yeah.

CMSAF David Flosi:

Yeah. Katy has somehow produced three productive citizens out there with jobs. It’s been a wonderful journey, a wonderful experience. So there’s a lot more good than bad. Absolutely.

Panel Moderator: Lt. Gen. Burt Field, USAF (Ret.):

Thanks.

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This transcript was auto-generated, and may not be 100 percent accurate. The source audio and video can be accessed above.