United Forces & Families: Multigenerational Perspectives on Family Readiness

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This transcript was generated with the assistance of AI. Please report inconsistencies to comms@afa.org.

Corie Weathers:

Good afternoon. Thank you for joining this multi-generational discussion this afternoon. My name is Corie Weathers. I know that there are some exciting other discussions happening, including an amazing, probably, discussion on China. But I would like to say thank you for being a part of talking about what it means to serve families, to take care of our forests, and to take a look at what’s shifting in the forest today from a generational perspective. Like I said, my name is Corie Weathers. I am the daughter of an Air Force pilot. I am the wife of an Army Soldier. I am the mom of two Aggies. There’s one. I heard one. And I’m thrilled to be here. I’m also the author of a book called “Military Culture Shift: The Impact of War, Money, and Generational Perspective” — thank you “on Morale, Retention, and Leadership.” That’s a very long title, I know. So I’m thrilled to have this conversation today about what is going on in the forest today from that generational perspective. I’m sure most of you, if you’ve been in 10 years or more, maybe even just probably you notice even in five years, things have shifted, right? Things have changed. From a family perspective, a community perspective, things are changing rapidly. And so we want to talk about what is changing, why it’s changing. And so I want to give a quick caveat. There’s a lot of things that we could be talking about. And we are aware that there’s a lot of changes happening. There’s a lot of division in our nation, sometimes division within our force today. And this panel and I met several times over the last couple months really trying to deliberate and think about how to give you a productive discussion, knowing that there are some things that are just really tough to talk about. But really when we kind of hashed it out, we realized what we really need to talk about is how the community is shifting, how to hear each other. And I hope that what you’ll see is not just a panel, not just a conversation, not just different generations sharing their perspectives. But I really hope that you’ll see it as a model for how to have these conversations. That’s what we really want to bring to you and really model unity, which I think is also something that we really want and that we want to work towards. So without further ado, we have three generations that are going to be up on the stage today. So let me tell you who’s with us. I’m sure you all know Mrs. Sharene Brown. Sharene is a nationally recognized advocate for military families and a co-founder of Five and Thrive, an initiative dedicated to addressing the top five quality of life challenges facing military families child care, education, health care, housing, and spouse, employment, drawing on over three decades of experience as a military spouse, a mother, I’d say also a mentor. And she has shaped policies, strengthened partnerships, and amplified best practices within the military and community space on leadership to ensure service members and their families have a streamlined access to critical resources. So grateful. Thank you, Sharene, for being here. Chris McCool is a devoted family man and retired Air Force Chief Master Sergeant with a career spanning 28 years. He’s got some fans. A dedicated service to his country, he’s married to Katie McCool, who currently serves as the Commander Chief for Pacific Air Forces. Chris is the proud father of four boys, and I think he deserves some kind of recruitment award because Gunner, Colton, Cannon, and Gage are all serving in the United States Air Force. Yes. And his greatest passion lies in his unwavering support and advocacy for the Airmen, Guardians, and their families. Last but not least, we have Lyndsey Akers. She’s a senior consultant for the Air & Space Forces Association’s United Forces & Families (F2) Initiative and the CEO of Akers & Company. Did I say that right? Or Co.

Lyndsey Akers:

Co.

Corie Weathers:

OK, I meant to ask you that. A boutique PR agency elevating impact-focused brands and innovative founders, an Air Force spouse, and mom of two, she is deeply passionate about advancing military spouse entrepreneurship, employment opportunities, and child care access for military families. Through her work, Lindsay blends over 15 years of expertise in communications with a mission-driven focus on strengthening military families and amplifying voices that drive meaningful change. Thank you guys so much for not just being here.

Lyndsey Akers:

I’ll share my bio next time.

Corie Weathers:

No, we need to be able to highlight the hard work, especially military spouses. So here’s how we want to start. There are unique strengths and values of every generation. I am the mom of two Gen Z boys. I love studying the different generations, love studying Gen Z. Chris, I know you also have Gen Z kids as well. So Gen Z that are sitting out there, we are definitely going to do our best to represent you as well. You’re not out of this. So talking about those unique strengths and values, what strengths and values do you feel like your generation brings to the force? And how are those sometimes or often misunderstood? So let’s go with Chris first. He’s representing Gen X, by the way.

CMSgt. Chris McCool, USAF (Ret.):

Yeah, well, thank you very much.

Corie Weathers:

Without giving away ages. OK.

CMSgt. Chris McCool, USAF (Ret.):

So I’ll tell you, being a dad of four boys, I get to really experience some craziness in the house and listening to the way they think. And we’ve had a few disputes over the years. But I’ll tell you, one of the strengths from my generation is we didn’t have immediate access to information and fancy toys and expensive game systems. So we had to learn. We had to go outside and play. We had to figure it out. Dad would say every Saturday, get out there and come home when the sun goes down. And so we have the ability to just create things and solve problems and bring friends together, bring communities together, and kind of look at a particular situation with limited resources and be able to come up with solutions. And so I think that’s probably one of the biggest strengths for our generation, for my generation, is that. Is that we’re problem solvers. We’re self-reliant.

Corie Weathers:

I would like to agree with that as a fellow Gen X. But I am also on the Gen X kind of millennial line. I like to say I have the work ethic of a Gen X and the feistiness, rebelliousness, maybe the loudness of a millennial. And so, Lyndsey, talk a little bit about what do you feel like millennials bring. I know I see their creativity. Your bio is a good way of just highlighting how creative millennials have been to just systems and system thinking. So what are the strengths of millennials?

Lyndsey Akers:

Yes, thank you. I’m proud to represent you all as the elder millennial today. And I think we hey, I’m on the elder side of the millennial generation. But I think our generation is very fortunate to be sandwiched between the generations that have come before us that we had landlines. We were born when landlines were around. And we can go get out and play. But we have been exposed or navigating the world through such a massive digital shift in how we operate professionally, how we connect personally. And in addition to that, our generation has been exposed and witnessed so many global challenges and crises with 9/11, with COVID, the Great Recession, and everything that comes in between that and after. So I would generally say that adaptability is one of our greatest strengths. And we are collaborators. We are innovators. We are able to now use the technology that we have at our resource to improve inefficiencies and make things better through that collaborative mindset and also have the perspective of the guidance from those who have come before us and also trying to manage staying up with all the technology that’s coming behind us.

Corie Weathers:

So good. Mrs. Brown, older Gen X and also baby boomers are currently still serving in the force today. We have four, if not five, different generations that are serving in the force still. And so this older generation is still driving policy change. They’re still driving a lot of the perspectives and the directions of the force today. So what would you say are those values that are still really important and unique?

Sharene Brown:

Well, first of all, just let me say thank you. All of us are really grateful to be here to be able to talk to you about this. And as I look to baby boomers, it sounds really strange for me to say. But anyway, yeah. If you start to look at the things that stand out in my mind are the commitment, the responsibilities, and then also the resources. Because as Chris was saying and Lyndsey was saying, we had no technology whatsoever. So the only way that you were going to find any sort of information was to connect with somebody. So whether that meant we came to one location to get that information, and we had to know where it was, and we had to know how to locate it, and we had to know how to, no kidding, hang onto it. Because these days, you’ll see– and I find myself doing the same thing we remind people there’s so many things that are happening, and the information flow is so wide and just intense that sometimes we need reminders as to what sort of things are happening. Are you coming? This is happening. By the way, please show up for this. Whereas for our generation, you would show up, you relied on yourself to make sure that all that information came to you, and then you showed up where you needed to be. How many of you have heard it from your own parents and say, OK, you’re starting baseball. You’re going to stick with it to the very end, right? So these are some of the things that we stand in that space, and we tend to follow we have heard from our elders, if you will, and this is what they shared with us that we should do. We came from an era where the jobs were available for a very long time. We stayed in those jobs for a very long time. The benefits were great. So we stayed there. But as we evolve, one of the things I will say that from our generation, what we have to pay attention to is as we engage with folks from different generations, we have to understand where they’re coming from, too. They don’t always see things just like we did when we were younger, too. We didn’t always pay attention to everything else that was happening in those generations before us, even though they would constantly remind us. But we were trying to make an inroads for what we were doing, what was really happening. So maybe we’re trying to find that career and find that purpose. Where are we going? Then we move along in our journey, and we have a family. How do we take care of our family? And so a lot of this, even as an American culture, we’re always very independent. And so we don’t really reach out for help until we really need help.

Corie Weathers:

So, so good. I was thinking as you were talking, I want to kind of give a little bit of a heads up that I usually say to people. Pew Research last year– actually, it was 2023 decided they were no longer going to use generational labels. And I personally agree at their reasoning for that, because they kind of, in essence, said, don’t we all learn to adult at some point? Like, don’t we all– like, we’re not the same that we were when we were in our 20s. And that was kind of one of the things that you were just saying. And that we kind of it’s kind of like we gave millennials a really hard time for being so-called slow to launch and snowflakes, right? And yet, they are leading and in command roles in our force today, and they’re just productive members of our society. And so we do learn to adult over time. But for the sake of this conversation, we’re using those generational labels as kind of like a point of conversation. Like, how do we just start from there, realizing that, yes, we all do kind of evolve over time. And yet, there’s these things that we grew up with that also shape our values, shape our work ethic, and shape our communication as well sometimes. And so we’re seeing all these generations come in and create some conflict, just even in their communication. So this next question I wanted to give to Lyndsey and to Mrs. Brown. We talked a lot about in preparing for this conversation that we wanted to also have some hard conversations. And so Gen Z is really amazing at thinking efficiently. They use resources, platforms, gaming. They use all of the technology in efficient ways. So sometimes they’re like on lots of platforms, but they just use it in efficient ways, and they think quickly and efficiently. And I think that’s one of their strengths. And one of the things that we’re seeing in the community or in our military community is that we’ve long wanted to narrow the civilian-military divide. We’ve talked about that for decades. Can we just close that gap? And now we’re seeing families start to live off installations in their local community, leaning into the resources and support in the community. And as more and more families, especially younger families, as they’re tapping into the local community, we are seeing the community inside kind of break down a little bit and less cohesiveness is happening, or maybe less using of the resources that we have. So I’d like to go to Lindsay first. I guess my question is, do you believe that our force and our community should continue, that there’s importance in being self-sustaining as a community, or do you feel like there’s value in these outside partnerships, partnering with the local community, and that this evolution that’s happening is something that should be encouraged and continue?

Lyndsey Akers:

Thanks, Corie. I think there’s value in both, but I think it’s also important to highlight that the military community of today has similar challenges, but the environment is different than the military community of generations that have come before us. From everything that I’ve gleaned from mentors and the community here, several years ago, or decades ago, we primarily lived on base. We were single-income households. Childcare was not necessarily a fracturing issue. You could call your neighbor. You could trust your neighbor and say, “Hey, I’ve gotta go to a doctor’s appointment. “Can you watch my kid for a couple of hours “so I can go do this thing?” And I will say that as a dual-income household, as an entrepreneur and a mom of two, the most critical and important thing for me to do is to have my children in quality care, childcare, with people I trust. And the childcare system right now, whether it’s offered by our government resources or community partners, it’s severely, severely lacking. And we generally just need solutions that support the mission. And again, being a dual-income household is fairly critical these days, and that goes into military spouse employment, it goes into childcare, it goes into housing. My point is these all trickle in together, and my personal position is I’m not waiting on someone to come help me at this point. I am going to figure this out for my family. And if that means civilian childcare, if it means sitters, if it means working more, I will solve for that. However, when our systems and resources work together and solutions are made expeditiously, the family benefits from that, the mission benefits from that. I’m very appreciative for community partners, especially like Operation Childcare Project, who are filling the gaps in childcare for short-term needs in places like Hurlburt, in places like Colorado. So, Corie, to answer your question, I think it’s a difficult solution, but whenever those solutions come forward, our entire community benefit from it, from both the unit perspective and certainly from the family perspective. So I can be doing what I love to do, impacting my community and serving my family in the ways that are best aligned with us and what we need.

Corie Weathers:

Thank you. Mrs. Brown, I’m really curious about your answer on this, because I see older generations going through almost like a grief as this shift is happening. Again, this is something we’ve always wanted to happen, and yet as we become less self-sustaining, there’s a grief associated with seeing change happen. We’re seeing less cohesiveness, less us serving each other and solely serving each other. So I know this is something that’s really important to you with Five and Thrive as well. And so what is your wisdom as you are seeing these things change?

Sharene Brown:

Well, you know, like anything that happens, change. We know it in the military because we go through it every couple of years. We’re moving from one place to another, so it’s fairly routine for us. But as we see this change, there’s an overarching change that’s happening too. You know, we are not in as many conflicts as we once were. Therefore, our service has shrunk a little bit. That means the budget looks a little bit different. And so as that funding comes down, what is being funded really? And so if we can then shift, because how many of you have been to an installation and the one thing that you go there for is what? Work. That’s where I work. But I live off the installation because there’s maybe more community. But it depends on what’s happening in that community because you could be living in a very large community where there’s a lot of access to different things. So therefore, you wanna take advantage of that. But then you may be in a smaller community where there are some things, but maybe not enough of the things that you’re looking for because you need them. Think about some of our shift workers and whatnot that are from one place to another. We need to have certain resources available to us from the base. So if you had said to me, should we still continue to have those resources on every military installation? I would say yes, we do. Why? Because at some point, this ebbs and flows. We may not necessarily be in conflict now, but at some point down the road, we may be. And then how do we come together as a community to understand what we need to do going forward? I have no doubts that when we do hit that force again, where we need to really engage, we will come together because that’s what we do. We are there for one another. We’ll find ways to be able to connect. It may not look like the way I experienced it over my journey, but it will be reflective of that generation, that community where they are. And that’s a great thing. It’s ’cause when we all come together to do the things that we need to do, we’re gonna make it happen. But I still think the opportunity to be able to engage in the community is not necessarily a bad thing. And oh, by the way, when communities understand that we have military members in their community, we are somewhat reflective of that community as well. We have issues just like they do, and it’s beneficial for that community to understand a little bit more of who we are as a military. We wanna buy a house. We wanna be able to have our kids join the community recreational facilities, whatever that might be. And then the community gets to learn a little bit more about who we are ’cause we are so small. But it is huge. And I will tell you from some of the positions that my other half has sat in, I’ve gotten to see a whole ‘nother layer of this. Communities wanna be able to help because they too have that pride in our military, that patriotism for our military. And as we continue to push for resources in those communities, it’s funny to me, not really funny, but very encouraging that states compete with each other because they wanna be the ones to say, “We’re the number one supporters of the military.” So how do we help our leaders at those installations reach out to the community and share with them or have those community members come to us and say, “How can we help you? “Here’s what we need. “Let me just show you what this place looks like. “I don’t have to tell you everything, “but you’ll get a sense of it as we go forward.”

Corie Weathers:

I appreciate that so much. I know for me, it’s hard sometimes to see things change. So I appreciate the higher level view of the ebb and flow, that sometimes things come back around and change, and that we’ve in some ways been here before. So thank you. So this next question will be to Chris. Chris, I think it’s also another difficult question, which is about communication between leaders and families. If you guys know me at all, resilience is a word that is not, I’m not a fan of that word, resilience. And yet there’s expectations on families to be not only resilient, but to be in a state of readiness as well. And so from a communications perspective, this might pull a little bit on your dad brain a little bit, but communication and information distribution is more complicated than ever. Everybody’s trying to figure out how do we establish communication, reach the next generation, communicate the things that we need to communicate, on which platforms, which I’m not asking for you to know what those are. But I will say, but given the expectation of family readiness and resilience that is on families, what practical ways can leaders ensure that information actually reaches families across generations?

CMSgt. Chris McCool, USAF (Ret.):

Well, that is a great question. I think when we were

Corie Weathers:

Good luck to you.

CMSgt. Chris McCool, USAF (Ret.):

When we were prepping for this, I shared some stories about our kids. So full disclosure, being a retired chief, there’s that hat. Then I’m also the spouse of a command chief. So there’s that hat. And then I’m a dad of Airmen. And I’m also a big brother of an Airman and an uncle of an Airman and a niece. And so I get to hear their perspectives when big things happen, when command policy comes down and they question it, I often get a phone call. And so I’m actively engaged in listening to them. One thing, very specific sticks out is, I asked Gage, our youngest son, how do you like to receive information from your leadership? And he’s a senior Airman. He’s a F-35 avionics technician at Eglin. And there had been a lot of change in policies over the last few years, or I’ll really say within the last year. And then of course, as administration changed, there’s a lot of things moving really fast. And our Airmen aren’t keeping up. Well, there was an email that was sent out by some senior leaders that was pretty important. I asked Gage if he ever saw it. He said, “Dad, I don’t check my email. “I’m on the flight line. “I’m out turning wrenches. “I don’t get to sit in front of my computer “and look for policy information coming from the top.” I said, “Well, how would you like to receive information?” He said, “A short reel on that Snap Face thing. “That would…” Is that not what it’s called?

Corie Weathers:

Snap, Snapchat.

CMSgt. Chris McCool, USAF (Ret.):

Oh, Snapchat. Okay, see?

Corie Weathers:

Facebook. Snapchat.

CMSgt. Chris McCool, USAF (Ret.):

Okay, so at least I’m caring enough to know that there’s something out there they’re using. Okay, and so a short reel, because that’s where he spends his time. Nothing that’s extensive, a long 10-minute presentation. They just hit the wave tops, as sometimes we like to say in staff meetings. Just give me the wave tops. Well, that’s actually how they wanna receive the information as well. And it was pretty consistent across all my boys. My oldest is 28 and a tech sergeant, but still, he’s a computer programmer and sits in front of his computer most of the day. So his dynamic is different, but if you wanna reach the entire force, we have to go where they are and have the willingness to use multiple platforms to get the messages out in the way that they receive information. The other thing is, I’ll share one last thing, is the information is there. And I’ve been on a quest. I’m a spouse of the command team, and I get to go out and listen to concerns that other spouses have around the PACAF AOR. And one thing that seems consistent is not many of them have actually been to the newcomer’s orientation at their installation. And so we offer these types of appointments or the information is available, but some folks just aren’t choosing to seek it. And so I would encourage all of us in this room is that when find a way to make it exciting for your newcomers to your installation, if you’re a sponsor, be a sponsor. Don’t just be a name that they have an email to. Welcome them to your installation, guide them, and embrace them. And the more we do that, we get back to the community discussion. I think they feel part of the family from day one. So if spouses are not showing up to a newcomer’s orientation and then later feel misinformed, I think you own some of that.

Corie Weathers:

Yeah, I love that.

Sharene Brown:

Can I tag in on that just a little bit? You know, what you’re saying is so true, but what I also find too is that for a lot of our folks, there’s so much information on the social media platform, let alone websites, it goes on and on. But the other thing that I think is interesting is when we do connect, how much do we share this information? Because folks will listen to your peers much more than they’ll listen to any other group of folks. There was a research done a long time ago, a while ago, I should say, a podcast I was listening to, whether it’s teens, spouses, workmates, whatever the case may be, it’s your peer that you will listen to more often than not than if there was somebody else. I can’t tell you because I’m not my son’s peer, right? I’m his parent. But how many times has this happened to you? You know, you might wanna try doing X, Y, Z over here. Oh, mom, you don’t know what you’re talking about. But then, you know, it could be a kid in his high school, maybe a year or two ahead of him who’ll say the same thing. I didn’t think of that. That’s a great idea. Heaven forbid you should be standing right there when this little transaction happens, right? But my point is this. We all take some responsibility in being able to share that information, to even share with someone. So if we know someone’s new, hey, did you know about the Family Readiness Center? Is it close by? You’ll find a lot of information there if you ever, just throw that little nugget in the back of your head.

Corie Weathers:

That human connection, human face-to-face conversation’s so important. Lyndsey, I know I hear from Gen Z all the time saying, similar to what Chris was saying, is how do you break through the noise? Like break through the noise and the oversaturation of information. Getting alerts on my phone is really helpful, but just how do we break through the noise so that they can actually see and know the most important things? I’m also really curious from your PR perspective because you help so many of your clients also break through that noise as well. So from a millennial perspective, but maybe I’m kind of selfishly asking for some PR advice on how do we break through the noise and maybe also wrestle with us a little bit on this whole family, this expectation that’s very heavy about being in a state of constant readiness and the importance of having leaders talk to families, even though I think sometimes it mostly goes to the service member to the families and then there’s a breakdown from there.

Lyndsey Akers:

Yes, I will be very candid and say I do not envy this problem. This is a big, big challenge and you have so many people who have different preferences on how they receive communication. But what I will say is communication is undervalued until it’s not happening. And it is essential that the message is not only delivered, but received and understood. And I think we could do a better job of that by asking, are we polling our families or our service members generationally or otherwise? How do you prefer to receive communication? I have loved your idea of having spouses get really involved and ingrained at the very beginning. And I know that’s uncomfortable for some of us and other get really excited about that idea to be ingrained. But I do think it begins with that culture of caring and feeling connected from the family perspective to see the mission, to be connected to the mission and to see from our leadership that we are not a number or an Airman or a Guardian, we are a unit and family readiness is mission readiness. And we just want that to be emulated from our leadership. So I think asking families is really important and letting them know that you care from the beginning. Because I think once the families are convinced that you care about their experience, you care about their quality of life, that information happens a little bit easier and it flows better. Did I answer your question? There was a lot packed in that.

Corie Weathers:

Yes, but it gives a whole extra hour of whatever you have. No, it’s really, really complicated. And one of the things that you talked about in our, when we were preparing for this conversation is just the importance, and you did highlight this, the importance of like direct conversation. When you talk about leaders polling families, asking families, there’s a direct conversation between the leadership and those families. I know that’s something that a lot of our leaders are struggling with, is not only how to reach, but also communicate, and also assessing the needs of what families actually need and want. So I think going back to what Chris said, utilizing the technology as well in really efficient ways to help you get that information, but the direct conversations and showing that you care I think is gold. Okay, and that’s definitely what I hear from Gen Z across the board, is do you see me as a human being? And as a family, do you see us as humans worthy of your communication, worthy of your reaching out, worthy of you asking and being curious about what we actually need? That’s how you gain their respect.

Lyndsey Akers:

Well, and I appreciate that my husband is in theory the messenger, but that direct communication, that direct line is always appreciated by the spouse and the family as we navigate the day-to-day ongoings of military life, and again, just strengthening that bond between living off base, working day-to-day, and then still supporting my husband’s career.

Corie Weathers:

So good, and great. So we have a few more minutes. This next question sounds simple, but it is not, because everywhere I go, I see there is some generational clashing, and it’s really easy for all of us to go into any relationships, whether it’s our marriage, parenting, work settings, you name it, with kind of like my way is the easiest way, is the right way, so can everybody do it my way? So the question is for each of you as far as personally, so this is a personal question, but also thinking generationally, and it’s about being curious about the generations around you, because this is so much harder to implement, I feel like, than to just talk about it. How do each of you, I’ll start with maybe Chris first, how do you personally practice staying curious and open-minded to other generations? And I wanna throw in, especially if there’s contrasting perspectives or contrasting values that kind of go against maybe the way that you grew up, or the way that you see things, that’s where it really gets hard. So is there any personal things, like walk us through your internal process. In some ways, I’m curious how this shows up in your parenting, right, ’cause this is a parenting question for a lot of us, but what is the internal process that you go through personally in order to stay curious instead of defensive, or rooted in your own perspective?

CMSgt. Chris McCool, USAF (Ret.):

So, I’m gonna put the chief hat on first. And so that was, I’m a former, so I was avionics guy, I was a military training instructor at Lackland, and then I was a recruiter for a while. And so my experience in the Air Force dealt with a lot of the younger generation, especially as an MTI, I had to figure out how to communicate with a team quickly, and be able to inspire them and gain their trust, and credibility to get them transitioned from a civilian to an Airman. And so that, I think that helped shape my points of view later in my career. Just being able to understand that the mission is challenging, and it affects Airmen in many different types of ways, Airmen and Guardians alike. And so having the willingness as a leader to listen, take the time to listen. I know we’re in a fast pace, we have a lot of things to get done, but actually listening to the Airman’s perspective, listening to the innovative ideas that they have to make the mission better. And I found that the more you do that as a leader, the better off your unit is overall, and the morale seems to be a little bit better, ’cause they have the buy-in, they feel like we’re actually listening. We can’t implement everything they come up with, because they come up with some crazy ideas too. So I mean, I do too. But as a dad, it ties back in, as a dad of Airmen, listening to them, and engaging, being fully engaged. We’ve had some safety issues happen in, well, really across our Air Force, but very specifically when it happens on the flight line, and I’ve got a son and a nephew that are on the line every day, and how dangerous that is. When we have safety issues happen that are a result of just mistakes being made, or some resource that wasn’t available that they needed, that bothers me. And so I pick up the phone, Katie and I pick, Katie, hello, Katie and I pick up the phone, and we call our Airmen, essentially, and we ask, “What is going on in your work center?” And it was one that was so simple, but very troubling. We had an Airman injured, had something get in his eye, and they just weren’t wearing their eye shields. So we asked Gage, “Do you wear eye shields on the line?” He said, “No, Dad, we wear ’em like this. “And then we wear ’em up here, “and when QA comes around, then we pull ’em down.” And I said, “Well, why do you do that?” ‘Cause they’re all scratched up. We can’t see through them. And so for us to really engage with the Airmen and give the impression that we care, those little things like that matter.

Corie Weathers:

It’s a great example of, I mean, as silly as it sounds, it’s a great example of that efficiency thinking. Like, it’s inefficient for me to use the glasses this way. How do I solve that problem? And being curious and open to hear what they have to say. And the ideas around how would you like to solve that would be interesting as well. Mrs. Brown, I think I’d love to go to you next. How do you personally exercise staying open and curious?

Sharene Brown:

Gee, you know, if you were to talk to my other half, he has this little moniker that he has placed on me. So he calls me Curious George. Only because, you know, like Curious George, I ask a lot of questions. And I’ve been this way for a long time. And I have to learn to, when I can cut it off, right? I get enough information, then maybe I’ll come back, circle again, ask again, but from a different perspective, because I just wanna hear what’s happening. So a lot of times for me, it’s a lot of reading, believe it or not, you know, ’cause I live with this guy who does reading across the board. So he’ll have a book that’ll come to him, and you know, I’m curious too. And so I wanna read it, and then he wants to know where that book is. But then the other part of this is, I’ve always been, and he will share this openly, he’s an introvert, I’m an extrovert. I really like to just meet and talk to people, regardless of your age. So tell me about you. And you know, for many of you, you realize that if you can get close enough to someone, because it’s somewhat about trust, if you can open yourself up a little bit and talk to folks, they will tell you a little bit about themselves because they’re happy to share with somebody else, right? So for a little bit of time before we thought we’d ever come to this, where we are, I thought we were getting out of the military at one point, and my kids were in high school, so my kids are well beyond all that now. And as a sort of, it was twofold. I wanted to understand what was going on in high school with my boys. So how could I get close enough to the high school to figure out what was going on? So I volunteered in the career and counseling office. And so I got a chance to talk to counselors to figure out what resources were out there for my kids. But then I sat down with the kiddos, the high schoolers, and helped them figure out where they wanted to go next. Well, let me tell you, if you’ve not had an opportunity to talk to our high schoolers and just listen to them sometimes, they come up with some of the most ingenious ways or perspectives about doing things if you just listen to what they have to say. And so for me, it’s the opportunity to just engage with people from time to time. I know what I know based on just the journey that I’ve been on. But what is it that you’re thinking? Because there may be something that I haven’t seen or you have a different background, as we all do, that I’m just not tracking. So that explains to me why you’re doing what you’re doing. Or if you’re lucky, then someone will actually say, I do this for this reason. And in the end, you’re happy to know, okay, that makes a lot of sense. Or that is the craziest idea I’ve ever heard. You might wanna rethink that. Or for the kiddo that you’re talking to or the young adult or whoever you may be speaking to, they’re just happy to have a moment with you to just share what’s going on. So the idea of having a little bit of trust or to be able to reach out, you’ll be surprised at how much you may get back from people when you just ask a question. ‘Cause everybody wants to know that they’re being seen. And especially in our military today, there’s so much happening that I’m sure it would be worthwhile just to hear what people are thinking.

Corie Weathers:

Yes, very well said. Lyndsey, I’m actually gonna throw you a last different question. Okay, just to end up our time together, you mentioned that the millennial generation is feeling sandwiched. I hear that same word everywhere I go. They feel sandwiched, they feel pressured. It’s just hard to lead the way the older generation is asking, their superiors are asking them to lead and also lead in a way that the next generation wants to be led. And there’s just a lot of pressure there. I think you also have your finger on the pulse of morale for I think the millennial generation as well. So from that morale perspective, big question. What do you feel that your generation needs right now? And what can leaders do to better support and encourage families?

Lyndsey Akers:

That’s such a tough question, Corie. And I almost knew that you were gonna ask it. But again, I go back to this notion of listening and caring and understanding the individual in the whole, their unique experience and how that translates into their role, whether as a military spouse or an Airman. And being able to allow people to do great work and to feel connected to the purpose. I think my generation is incredibly rooted in purpose and passion. And in the work that I do and the work that my husband does in the military, there is a purpose-driven aspect to what we do. And we wanna feel connected to that. So I think it’s just that 365 degree purview of the purpose for the generation that follows us, the wisdom from the generation that has come before us, and tackling tough challenges together.

Corie Weathers:

Great answer. So as we wrap up our time with this panel, there is a military milspouse link-up lounge that’s gonna start at 2:20 that, Lyndsey, I’d love for you to share more about. It’s gonna happen shortly, about an hour from now.

Lyndsey Akers:

Yes. If you are a military spouse or dual mil, can you please raise your hand? Thank you. I am so glad y’all are here. Again, I work with AFA in our F2 program, and we have, for the first time ever, I’ve worked with AFA for over a decade, a milspouse link-up lounge where we’re going to have a few goodies, we’re gonna connect and bring these connections in person and kind of in our own little space upstairs. So if you would like to attend, we are asking for you to register in RSVP. You can connect with me or go to the AFA booth today, 2:20 to 4:15, tomorrow, 9:40 to 11:20. I would love to see you all there.

Corie Weathers:

Thank you guys so much. Thank you to the panelists for being honest and vulnerable and sharing your wisdom. Thank you guys for coming in and participating in the conversation as well. I hope it was meaningful and productive and you got a few tips in there along the way. So thank you guys so much for being here.